Family at War – Top 10 reasons why families fall out

4 In 10 Britons are currently ‘at war’ with a member of their family, according to new research.
family at war

A study has found that four in ten people in the UK (44 percent) are in conflict with a member of their family, with one in three (35 percent) not having spoken to someone for more than three years.

As cult television series Succession returns to our television screens in March, researchers from ICE 36 carried out a detailed study among 2000 adults to find out if our families are just as dysfunctional as the warring Roy clan.

Results suggest they are, with the old adage ‘you can choose your friends, but you can’t choose your family’, very much alive and kicking – so much so that 88 percent believe it is true.

Selfishness (28 percent), life choices (26 percent), relationship issues (21 percent) and parenting differences (14 percent) were uncovered as the most common reasons for the skirmishes.

Issues with children (14 percent), not pulling their weight in the family (14 percent) and jealousy (14 percent) have also left many families giving each other cold shoulder.

Jealousy. One in six (12 percent) say that the other person being jealous of them and not liking their partner (12 percent) caused the rift, while a tenth (10 percent) are owed money.

A tenth (nine percent) have fallen out over the distribution of inheritance, with a further one in ten (nine percent) putting it down to political opinions.

The research also found that the average family feud lasts a staggering three years.

Gen Z’s are the most likely to be caught in a dispute (52 percent) – compared to over 60s (30 percent) – with life choices (35 percent), selfishness (28 percent) and relationship issues (26 percent) the main reasons for the cross words.

London is the capital of the feuding families (59 percent), followed by Norwich (55 percent), Nottingham (55 percent) and Liverpool (52 percent). Maybe we have more in common with the scheming Roy family than we would like to believe.

Four in ten (26 percent) Brits say they have awkward family get-togethers where they do their best to avoid relatives in order to keep the peace. A third (35 percent) simply don’t go to family events anymore because they don’t want to face the person.

One in five (18 percent) get frustrated when confronted with the other person, while a tenth (11 percent) feel angry.

A tenth (10 percent) admit to getting annoyed, with one in ten (10) being shocked at the audacity of the other person.

A quarter (27 percent) say that the argument has changed their relationship with the wider family.

A third (30 percent) don’t share anything with their family anymore and admit that they don’t talk to them as much as they did (30 percent).

One in four (25 percent) struggle to trust their family because they took the other person’s side, while 23 percent have completely cut contact and don’t talk to them at all.

A fifth (20 percent) don’t get invited to family events now.

Over 60s are most likely to hold a grudge, one in three (29 percent) have been locked in an argument for over 10 years.

When it comes to who is to blame, half (52 percent) believe the other person started the argument with a sixth (16 percent) putting the falling out down to another member of the family. A tenth (12 percent) take responsibility for the disagreement and say they are to blame.

One in three (32 percent) don’t think they will ever make up with the other person, while four in ten (44 percent) are hopeful they will resolve their issues.

35 percent say they will eventually take the first step in reconciling, while a quarter (24 percent) think the other person will make the first move in repairing the rift.

A tenth (12 percent) admit they can’t remember why they first started arguing, while four in ten (38 percent) can only remember some of it.

Top 10 reasons for feuding families

  1. Selfishness 28%
  2. Life choices 26%
  3. Relationship issues 21%
  4. Parenting differences 14%
  5. Issues with children 14%
  6. Not pulling their weight in the family 14%
  7. Jealousy 14%
  8. Jealous of the other person 12%
  9. Don’t like a partner 12%
  10. Owing money 10%

If you found Family at War – Top 10 reasons why families fall out interesting, you’ll find more content about managing family disputes on our Relationships channel.

Tags: , Last modified: March 25, 2023

Written by 3:36 pm Relationships and dating